Betty ford says i'm here all night
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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