don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
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I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
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In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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