This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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