I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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