It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
