your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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