i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
