with your own penis?
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I am never drinking with the goths again.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
