i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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