maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
