This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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