If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
