I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
