I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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