No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
