So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
What drink are we having for lunch?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
