nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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