Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
