More tranny stories later!
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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