You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
