why didn't you poke me back
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
