'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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