Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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