All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
