To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
