I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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