You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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