he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
