Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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