I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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