playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
