Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
