so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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