My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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