I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
