Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
