i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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