he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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