I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
