quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just cut my nipple shaving
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
