90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
