Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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