the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
