all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3pm strippers are depressing
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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