meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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