We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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