it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
