We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
dude. I can hear the air.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
