Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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