HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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