You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
