His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize