My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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