but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
