fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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