It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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