Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
