Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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