I think I just saw someone hide a body.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
