I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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