I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
