you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
