so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
