Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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