Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
