Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
