I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
